Sunday, November 30, 2014

HisTreasured Possession

I'm writing this to share with you what I have come to realize about God's love for me, about my life and the way I see it.  I am not a great writer, eloquent speaker, or  a "wise old woman"  (Well, I am getting older!!!)  So, after you have read this, hopefully you wont be confused or think WHAT??? Because, well... it all makes sense to me:)

My whole life I have been trying to be something I'm not... Perfect.
The perfect daughter, the perfect mother, the perfect wife, friend, gotta have the perfect house, decorated perfectly!
And NEVER quite meeting my expectations.  Never quite satisfied with the mediocrity that I sometimes feel I am.  Because I don't measure up.  But, really, who am I trying to please????
No one is perfect, this side of heaven.  Yet, we do hold ourselves (and each other) to some unreachable standards, don't we??   Well, I for one am exhausted!  Tired of trying to be someone, something I'm not.  I'm tired of feeling like a failure. Tired of being disappointed.
 Heard a song on the radio this morning that really got me thinking about this.  Laura Story's  "I can just be me".   Have you listened to this???
Here are the lyrics:
I've been doing all that I can
To hold it all together
Piece by piece.
I've been feeling like a failure, 
Trying to be braver 
Than I could ever be.
It's just not me.

So be my healer, be my comfort, be my peace.
Cause I can be broken, I can be needy,
Lord I need You now to be, 
Be my God, so I can just be me.

I've been living like an orphan, 
Trying to belong here, 
But it's just not my home.
I've been holding on so tightly,
To all the things that I think
Could satisfy my soul.  
But I'm letting go....

So be my Father, my mighty warrior, be my King.
Cause I can be scattered, frail and shattered, 
Lord I need You now to be,
Be my God, so I can just be me.

Cause I was lost in this dark world
Until I was finally found in You
So now I'm needing, desperately pleading 
Oh Lord, be all to me

And be my Savior, be  my Lifeline, won't you be my Everything.
Cause I'm so tired of trying to be someone 
I was  never meant to be 
be my God
Please be my God
Be my God
So I can just be me....

This song is my prayer!!!  That I would stop trying so hard!  That I would let Him be my Everything!!!  To not focus on all the things I am not, but to focus on ALL that He is!!!
 I have been struggling for so long to be someone I was never supposed to be that I lost sight of the fact that I don't have to be the PERFECT wife, mother, friend, decorator, cook, speaker.
God created me to be, Me.  Right here, right now.  Anything that He calls me to do he will  fill me "with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge" (Ex 31:4)  to complete it!  I don't have to worry about whether or not I can, because He CAN!  He has and He WILL!
Sooooo, I can stop feeling sorry for myself,  feeling like I don't measure up! Having a fear of failure. God didn't create me (or you!)  to be like this! "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."  2 Timothy 1:7  
 I am Saved  by grace, Victorious through Christ!  I am his Beloved!!  His Daughter!! His treasured possession!!  That has to mean something!!! It does mean something!!!   It means everything!!! He will never love me any more and He will never love me any less!!!  Thank you God for that peace!!! For Your Faithfulness!!! For Your Perfect Love!!!

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